‘You just need to love yourself more’
It seems to be an ongoing trend, and words of advice you hear everywhere these days!
The problem is though, this concept seems so foreign to so many. What does it even mean? Doesn’t that mean that I’m narcissistic though? Self-love is not something we are taught at school (yet it would be a miracle and a changed world if we did!)
We are never taught to love ourselves as children, It was almost looked down upon in society, like you are either narcissistic or self-centered. We are made to believe, we must put others first and look for love externally because only THEN will we be fulfilled as human beings. But what about SELF-LOVE, where does that fit into the equation? Self-love is just as important, if not more so than loving others.
When I think about it, it really does make total sense. When I look back at all the relationships, jobs, my health, finance, you name it, that I sabotaged, it is OH so crystal clear now. It is the same when it comes to my clients. When we really get to the bottom of WHY they aren’t where they want to be in their life, it comes down to the love they lack within themselves.
The truth is, we cannot give to others what we don’t possess ourselves. How can we truly love another if we have not fallen in love with ourselves? How can we really become successful doing what we love, if we don’t feel we are worthy of being happy and successful? All this searching we do in our lives to find happiness, doesn’t it always seem to come back to ourselves?
If we don’t honour our internal light and feed the flame so it shines like a beacon, how can we attract all that we desire? We have to learn to fall in love with ourselves.
Learning to love ourselves first begins with self-dialogue. What are the things you say to yourself, day in and day out? We only use 10% of our conscious minds, that means 90% of the messages we are giving to ourselves are subconscious. WOAH! And to think that we have so many negative thoughts run through our minds every second that we are completely unaware of! (this is why practicing mindfulness is SO important. But that’s a whole different story for another day!)
If that isn’t enough reason to up-the-anti on your self-love then I don’t know what is sister!?
In order to change the messages we give ourselves, we have to go deeper than just telling ourselves we are great. We have to practice it on a deeper level, so it infuses every cell of our being. We have been programmed to think and live a certain way for so long, that it requires a lot of unlearning on our behalf, and this means creating new, healthier messages we tell ourselves on a daily basis. This is something I dive heavily in to, in my 8 Week Self-Mastery Bootcamp – Starting February 15th!
6 Signs You Need To Supercharge Your Self-Love
1. Your inner dialog (inner critic) is constantly telling you, you aren’t smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, successful enough. You name it! You are just never enough.
2. You are constantly looking for validation and acceptance from others
3. You compare yourself to others, and as a result, you always feel inadequate, not good enough, or that your not where you THINK you should be in life
4. Your happiness is dependant on other people, and you let what others say and do affect you a lot
5. You are a people pleaser. You are constantly saying YES to others and NO to yourself, and as a result you allow no time to fill yourself up. ‘Me time’ doesn’t exist in your world
6. You let your insecurities sabotage the relationships in your life.
If you would like to learn how to supercharge your self-love, you can start with my my Self-Love Starter Kit. Join my tribe below, and take my Self-Love quiz + receive my Self-Love Starter Kit for FREE
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