It is normal and we all do it. As soon as we are given an opportunity that is new to us, or different to what we are ‘comfortable’ with, our ego ‘radar’ is turned on and our mean girl comes out to play a little visit.
We start hearing things like,
‘You can’t do this’
‘You aren’t good enough’
‘You aren’t smart enough’
‘What if you end up looking stupid’
The list is endless right?! What I want you to understand is, everyone has these thoughts every single day. Why? Because it is part of being human, and our ego is a database full of past hurt and events we have experienced, and it’s job (so it thinks) is to protect us from feeling this hurt again. What your ego doesn’t know is, if we listen to our ego, and buy into our mean girl chatter, it can sabotage so many opportunities that come our way, simply because we listen to our ego whenever a situation feels familiar we say ‘Nope! Been here before, not doing this again!’
Instead of learning from past experiences, and being able to say to ourselves, ‘that was then, this is now, and the past is not my present’ we buy in to our negative thoughts and in the blink of an eye, another opportunity is missed.
If you find yourself doing this a lot, I am going to give you a couple of VERY simple steps you can implement that can help you make the distinction between making decisions out of fear, and making decisions based on real, practical and logical answers and facts.
Making decisions based around practical answers means taking the emotion out of it, and looking at a situation for what is it. Making a decision around fear means listening to, and buying in to your mean girl chatter.
Let me give you an example. Say you were asked tomorrow to become an open heart surgeon. If you know you aren’t a doctor and haven’t been studying for 10 or more years, then you know, practically, you are not skilled or have the knowledge to do this. So saying ‘no’ I can’t do this would be the right answer. Get it?
On the other hand, if you are trained and skilled in accounting or admin, and you get offered a higher paying job in that field, but you start saying to yourself ‘I can’t do this’, “I’m not good enough’ etc, then this is your mean girl chatter you are listening to, simply because, you know you CAN do it, you are just letting fear creep in and take over. It has nothing to do with your inability or knowledge to accept what is offered or asked of you.
This kind of thinking is detrimental to our growth and you need to let it go. Don’t allow your mean girl to sabotage opportunities for yourself.
Here are two very simple steps I want you to implement the next time a new or unfamiliar opportunity comes yours way
1. Ask yourself, am I trained in this area and know how to do it? Or do I know that I am not skilled or have knowledge around this area, there for the practical answer would be to say no I cannot do it
2. Then ask yourself, am I making a decision based around a practical and logical answer, or am I responding out of fear and listening to my mean girl chatter? (determine whether your answer is practical or fear based)
Make sense? It really is that simple. If you can take these tools and knowledge on board with you, you are going to allow yourself to take on opportunities that are only going to benefit you. You will open up yourself to an even better world for yourself as well as live up to your truest potential every single day. Sounds awesome right!?
Keep believing in yourself, and don’t allow fear to rule your life. You are destined for greatness, so allow yourself to become that and share with the world the things that only you can offer.
If you would like more help around this topic, then leave a comment below and I will be sure to get back to you. If you think this will help a friend, then share away!